PHENOMENON

What a phenomenon! Technology has added a whole new dimen­sion to the dating process. It's convenient, efficient, and offers that "kid in a candy store" feeling.

But before you view it as the savior of singlehood, ponder this:

1) Single's ads show just a part of the whole picture, and ob­viously that part is the one that the author wants you to see. Internet dating is a ready vehicle for singles to create the persona that they believe will bring in the most re­sponses. And it may not be authentic.

2) It is common for singles to choose a "hook" for their inter­net profile. That hook is the text, implication or innuendo that they believe will attract the most potential partners. Consciously or unconsciously, not all singles choose a hook that is an authentic portrayal.

Example: A single woman added to her profile "Great legs, firm breasts." She believed that would be an effective (seductive) hook. And indeed it was very effective for getting lots of responses, however there was no relationship po­tential as this woman had very little interest in sex, and the men her ad attracted had strong libidos. She had given an inauthentic impression. Although this hook did meet her din­ing needs - for an initial meeting, she would instruct her new internet friend to meet her at a restaurant that he was unfamiliar with, and would not be aware that it was fine dining. She enjoyed many gourmet meals, for free!

3) Most singles experience rejections with internet dating, just as they would using any other venue. Be prepared for rejec­tion - it is so much easier via the internet and may simply show up as e-mail disconnect.

4) Some singles enjoy writing e-mails ... forever ... and there is never an in-person meeting. Beware of that trap.

5) Do not assume that the person you are having a great e­mail exchange with is only e-ing you. Most seekers are connecting with several potentials at one time, and most have an ad posted in more than one dating site.

6) Do not assume that the person you are e-connecting with is single or available.

There is another huge benefit to internet dating that you may not have considered - everytime you write or edit your profile you are (re)defining who you are and what you want. Similar to the job interview process, you may start out being unaware, meek, or vulnerable, and with continued effort you become more conscious of the process, more defined in your desires and needs, and more self-empowered.

Have fun, be safe and reward your efforts!